The presentation of self, usually in an attempt of creating a certain impression, is inevitably hiding essential parts of our traits, thoughts and feelings. These essential parts, which influence our behavior, often remain hidden, not only from others but also from our own consciousness.

 

The project 'You’re Gorgeous, You’re Mad' is a process of discovery, unveiling people’s subconscious self-perceptions, the contradictions they form in each individual, and the reactions they provoke. Through this process I aimed to create a more complex and comprehensive representation of one’s self-perception than what is commonly presented in society, bringing to life the repressed concepts and examining their impact on one’s emotions and behaviors. 

 

I created this work during an Artist Residency in Virginia, collaborating with a group of international artists. The project began with by inviting each participant for a session of personal vocal confessions, where each person revealed the deeper layers of how they, as well as other around them, define who they are, shedding light on thoughts and perspectives that often remain unexplored. The sessions were divided into two segments: one dedicated to attributes participants saw as strengths, and the other to attributes they considered weaknesses. Throughout these sessions, the participants' voices were recorded and later edited into two corresponding short audio compositions. 

 

Several days later, the participants were invited to a dark, isolated studio where they observed their own reflections in a two-way mirror. As they stood in front of their reflections, I played an edit of their earlier confessions through a loudspeaker, turning the secret thoughts of each participant into a 'public' judgment. This act of playing the personal confessions through a loudspeaker formed a physical connection between the external social voice and the internal voice, which are known to influence each other in both directions. 

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The recorded audio was divided into two segments: first, their testimony about their perceived strengths, and later about their perceived weaknesses. These personal and sensitive statements provoked a wide range of physical and emotional reactions, which were expressed in the body language of each participant. During these sessions, I filmed their physical reactions from the other side of the mirror, creating two videos that corresponded to the two stages of the listening sessions. 

 

The final work presents the two video segments side by side, fostering a dialogue between participants' perceived virtues (on the right side of the video)and their perceived faults (on the left) while presenting their bodily reactions to their own thoughts. One of the images is intentionally flipped to emphasize the disparity between how we perceive ourselves in a mirror (where the right and left are reversed) and how others view our external appearance.

 

The heart of the project lay in my unwavering commitment to capturing the most authentic and in depth self-expressions possible during the interviews,  in order to evoke resonance with the viewer. This authenticity was paramount in preserving the genuine perceptions and thoughts of the participants. I also refrained from interfering as they listened to their own voices, opting only to record their unfiltered body language.

 

Thus the work reveals people’s secret thoughts and beliefs about who they are, examines how these thoughts affect their being, and illuminates the simultaneous existence of conflicting aspects of their self-concept. These intricate layers are often hidden even from the people who experience them.

 

Beyond this look at the personal, the diverse origin of the various participants, who come from different countries in Asia, Europe and North America, further expands the social and cultural reference space of the work. From this wider view observing the series as a collection- the participants' personal statements and judgments can be viewed as a reflection of some of the most common lines of thought in our society that come to define what makes someone worthy or unworthy of appreciation and acceptance.

 

The project was produced during the residency Experimental Film Virginia, in Cape Charles, Virginia, USA and includes participants from various countries. It was filmed in 2018, and edited in 2019. Participants: Alex Forge, Cat Kneip, Chingi Chang Bigelow, Christina Ricucci, Eldar Baruch, Emmanuel Malette, Erin Romero, JP Stanley, Lucia Moretti, Marsell Chavarria, Nicole Lorah, Sonia Li, Wesley Swing.